The Rise And Fall Of ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Betches

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills almostAt one point, these women were trailblazers. A breath of fresh air. We had a cast of complex characters who gave us on a level we had never seen on a Real Housewives franchise. When first aired in 2010, the Housewives were still relatively new but picking up momentum. The women didn’t know how to produce their own storylines. Instagram didn’t exist. Twitter was still so new, and no one really knew how to utilize it. All they had were Bravo blogs. It was a different time. So how the hell did we get here? How can a franchise that gave us so much betray us like this? The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills …

Lady Gaga Has A New Man, And It’s Not Bradley Cooper Betches

After almost a year of speculation about whether Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper would get together, we can finally stop guessing. Things picked up steam when Lady Gaga broke off her engagement with Christian Carino in February, and we all remember the Oscars, when they were practically oozing horniness for each other. I really got my hopes up when Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk officially broke up earlier this summer, but it seems like it’s just not meant to be. Lady Gaga’s been spotted with a new man, and it ain’t Bradley Cooper. On Sunday, Lady Gaga was seen at brunch in LA with Dan Horton, an audio engineer who has worked with Gaga, in addition to other top names …

Are ‘The Bachelorette’ Producers Purposely Casting Guys With Girlfriends? Betches

Tuesday night, America watched our Bachelorette, Hannah Brown, find out what we’d known for weeks: that her soon-to-be fiancé (and then soon-to-be-ex-fiancé) lied about his dating history before being on The Bachelorette, and actually had a girlfriend back home. (Whether Jed actually called Haley his girlfriend is irrelevant—if it walks like a girlfriend, talks like a girlfriend, and goes on family vacations and tells you she loves you like a girlfriend, you have a f*cking girlfriend.) And Jed isn’t the first guy to compete on The Bachelorette this season with a questionable relationship history. Pilot Pete was accused of ditching his girlfriend to go on the show, although his transgression is definitely murkier and less egregious. When these stories break, it feels like a …

The Best Bachelorette Recap Youll Ever Read: Just Choose Tyler, I Beg Of You Betches

Sponsored By SkinnyPop Well, people, we’ve made it. After watching what felt like an extremely long season sponsored by Jesus and steroids, Hannah is down to her final three men: Tyler, Jed, and the pilot she’s 1,000% about to send home with some pity tears and a nice HAGS comment. How we’re at the finale and she still has yet to JUST CHOOSE TYLER MY GOD whittle it down to her final two suitors, I’m not sure, but it’s starting to feel like a real punishment, let me just tell you. But I’m a good f*cking person! Back at the rose ceremony, Hannah has just sent Luke back to the shower from whence he crawled out of but still needs …

I’m Answering More Questions About My Open Relationship Because You Asked Betches

I recently wrote an article that addressed the annoying questions people ask me about my open relationship, because I’m a f*cking hero, but turns out y’all have even more questions. A lot of people in the comments wanted to know how the logistics of how my open relationship works, others wanted to explain to me, a person they have never met, how my love life is a sham. Love all of my fans equally. ANYWAY, I’m going to address some of the logistics here, but they aren’t going to be concrete. Sorry, bitch. But here’s the thing: open relationships are amazing because they are open, not just to sexual partners but to different options, variations, and changes. Everyone makes the …

Hannah And Luke Are Feuding About Sin On Twitter Betches

This season of The Bachelorette might really be the most dramatic ever, and it’s only getting messier as we get down to the end. Two of the three remaining contestants have had their shady past relationships exposed at this point, so Hannah’s chances of finding her Prince Charming aren’t looking great. But at least this week, we finally got rid of Luke P, who has been like a cancer on this show since approximately week two. I don’t usually have a lot to say about Jesus, but it’s impossible to ignore at this point. Hannah and Luke’s final argument on last night’s episode was instantly iconic, and now they’ve taken things over to Twitter. Luke just joined Twitter for the first …

How To Break the F*ckboy Cycle For Good Betches

DON’T Just Take What You Can Get If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance that at some point you’ve found yourself waiting to hear from a person you like for longer than is reasonable. Maybe, like my younger self, you’ve even gone so far as to delete his or her number from your phone and consider such person a lost cause. Of course, as soon as you proceed to get on with your life, the deadbeat in question miraculously resurfaces, whether it’s with a last-minute request for a date or a booty call well after you have made plans with friends (or, better yet, your couch). As much as you may want to respond and make yourself immediately available, …

Are Shawn And Camila Actually A Couple? Betches

After the whirlwind of celebrity weddings in the last couple weeks, we all need a new celebrity couple to focus on. Luckily, my attentions have been taken away from Brittany and Jax and refocused on two of the hottest young people in Hollywood: Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello. These two have known each other for a long time, but now it seems like their relationship might finally be at the next level. Let’s take a closer look at what’s going on with Shawn and Camila. Back in 2015, when both Shawn and Camila were both just starting to get big, they released “I Know What You Did Last Summer” together. It was a bop, but everyone moved on pretty quickly. …

‘Big Little Lies’ Recap: Where The Hell Was The Ice Cream Throw? Betches

Pretty Little LiarsWe’re kicking things off with a husband-on-husband scene, and not in the PornHub way. Ed and Nathan talk it out while they’re working out in the morning—another reason why I never jog. Nathan has gotten so annoying, no wonder Bonnie is checked out.  No she’s like, literally crazyCeleste hired a lawyer who, while she may not be doing her job, is doing a damn good job at pulling off that jacket. Rent the Runway unlimited, I’m sure.  Madeline, desperate for a storyline, is taking Ed on a retreat to bond their relationship that may involve bondage. I can so f*ck with a Carole King sing-along, though. Wait, is Bonnie psychic? She’s basically like the Long Island Medium, except not …

An Ode To Khlo Kardashian’s Most Emo Instagram Stories Betches

Let’s be real—Khloé Kardashian has had kind of a rough year. Her baby daddy cheated on her many times, most notably with one of her best friends, she’s now raising a daughter on her own, and we’ve accused her of Photoshopping her photos many, many times. Okay, she deserves the last one, but whatever. Unlike most people, who deal with their feelings by overeating, seeing a therapist, or just having a good cry, Khloé likes to express herself through one of my favorite bygone forms of communication: subtweets and emo Instagram stories. Khloé’s Instagram and Snapchat stories are a mix of adorable family photos, questionably edited thirst traps, and text posts screenshotted from god knows where. Thankfully, all of Khloé’s …

Why Stassi Schroeder & Ariana Madix Are Winning ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Betches

For avid fans of Vanderpump Rules (hi), there have been few greater joys than watching the burgeoning friendship between Stassi Schroeder and Ariana Madix. They are, as Lisa Vanderpump once pointed out, two queen bees—two beautiful, sassy, blonde queen bees with devoted boyfriends and killer style. It wasn’t always so easy to see what they had in common: in the early VPR years, Stassi was on full-time duty wrangling the Witches of WeHo, while Ariana was just trying to get through her new bartending gig without being shanked by Kristen. But as time went on, Stassi and Ariana have revealed their true colors as boss bitches who take no sh*t and look out for their own. IMO, these two are winning VPR right now—in honor …

Happy F*cking Summer: Weekend Horoscopes June 21-23 Betches

Summer officially starts on Friday, so it’s time for us all to accept that summer bods aren’t happening and we just need to be happy with ourselves as we are, dammit. I mean, one pieces are in now, right? I’m sorry, but what’s wrong with wearing a T-shirt by the pool? Don’t shame me. Anyway, with the full moon in Sagittarius and the summer solstice kicking off, feelings are at an all time high, but it’s lookin’ like a pretty solid weekend for most of us. Whether you’re kicking your feet up and relaxing at home or going on a mass shopping spree, just remember to live your best life, kids. Kisses. You want the greeeeeen, Gemini. Give in to …

Photoshop Fail Of The Week: Katie Maloney Is Full Of Baloney Betches

…And I mean the title in that Katie Maloney is a lying liar who lies. I debated, you guys, I seriously debated choosing this photo for this week’s Photoshop fail, because it’s just not even very interesting. It’s a quick, sloppy edit. It’s not even fun to dissect. But the reason we’re doing it anyway is because I cannot stand idly by. This is about justice. For those of you who don’t know, Katie Maloney-Schwartz, aka Bubba, is often body shamed on Vanderpump Rules. And that is not cool, and nobody should make mean comments about her body. But, it happens time and time again. Katie likes to get caught up on the Justice Train that people should not be bullies …

Why Do People Cheat? A Former Cheater Gives 4 Unexpected Reasons Betches

is nothing if not completely accurate (jokes), and Samantha’s unforgettable “all men cheat” proclamation is no exception. As a tried and true betch, I have no shame in admitting Samantha is my favorite, but I beg to differ on her bold statement circa season 2. According to a study conducted by the Institute for Family Studies, lots of people cheat. Specifically, it found, “Among men who have cheated on their spouse before, 61% are currently married, while 34% are divorced or separated. However, only 44% of women who have cheated before are currently married, while 47% are divorced or separated.” Am I dyslexic or do those numbers say 61% and 44%? ZOINKS! If so, that means that about half of …

The Best ‘Bachelorette Recap Youll Ever Read: Battle Of The Lukes Betches

Bachelorettelast week’s episodebreastfeeding. Then she decided to forgo the one-on-one date entirely in favor of lying in bed sick. Iconic. Finally, in a move that shocked absolutely no one, Hannah sent Cam packing at the rose ceremony. Apparently she didn’t love his retelling of when she asked him to tell her a little bit more about himself. Sad! some yard timeThey’ll be going to Newport, Rhode Island, and they act as if Chris just told them they won an all-inclusive trip to Croatia for Yacht Week. Sighs. Jed’s One-on-One Date: Hannah begins the date by absolutely butchering American history. She’s like “no taxation without representation…maybe. Idk. I saw it on a bumper sticker once!” Jesus Christ. I guess that’s just …

Problematic YouTube Stars Who Are Even Worse Than James Charles Betches

In the last few weeks, YouTube drama has been in the news like never before. You might not have known about James Charles or Tati before, but now you probably have a deep understanding of their feud and who betrayed whom and which receipts might have been fake. Okay, maybe “deep understanding” is an overstatement, but we’ve talked through the drama. But if you’re new to the world of YouTube personalities, there’s a lifetime of drama for you to catch up on. It would be literally impossible to explain all the dynamics of the various YouTube communities, but there are obviously a handful of people who rise to the top and dominate. And what do you know, the majority of …