…And I mean the title in that Katie Maloney is a lying liar who lies. I debated, you guys, I seriously debated choosing this photo for this week’s Photoshop fail, because it’s just not even very interesting. It’s a quick, sloppy edit. It’s not even fun to dissect. But the reason we’re doing it anyway is because I cannot stand idly by. This is about justice.
For those of you who don’t know, Katie Maloney-Schwartz, aka Bubba, is often body shamed on Vanderpump Rules. And that is not cool, and nobody should make mean comments about her body. But, it happens time and time again. Katie likes to get caught up on the Justice Train that people should not be bullies while simultaneously bullying her coworkers. So, they go after the one thing they can about her: her weight gain. And by weight gain, I mean, looking like a regular thin woman, not a sickly thin LA actor. But she has stood her ground on being proud of her body and not giving into societal pressure. It is her one redeeming quality. But then.
Earlier this week, Katie Maloney, queen of body positivity, posted this:
My first thought was, “Wow, Katie Maloney lost weight.” My second thought was, “Huh, those are some f*cked up railings on her side.”
Sidenote, I actually walked by Schwartz, Sandoval, and Ariana outside of a restaurant in my neighborhood last week. They all started looking in every direction when I walked by, like they thought if they didn’t make eye contact, no one would recognize them. Heads up guys, you are very famous. I saw Sandoval’s haircut from down the block. The shifty expressions just made you all look sketchy. If I didn’t know you were famous, I would assume you were going to rob the place. In addition, NONE of you seemed excited enough to pet my very cute bulldog, so that made me think less of all of you.
Sandoval, Schwartz & Ariana’s exact tactic to not be recognized in public:
Back to the photo. Strangely enough, not only has Katie lost a noticeable amount of weight, seemingly out of nowhere, the railing only on her side seemed to bend.
I’m not talking about just the general curvature of the railing. It’s clear that they’re towards the front of the boat where the railing will bend. You can see that because of the piece of railing between them by their legs. But the railing would curve the same way. Their lines would still be parallel. What I’m talking about is the completely uneven warping of Katie’s side of the photo. It’s missing pieces, it’s curving, blurry, thickening and thinning out in weird places, and it all seems to be worse the closer it gets to her body. The left side is straight and then suddenly the METAL looks like it melted and isn’t straight at all (especially that third bar):
AND it’s not just the railing that goes fuzzy and bends into her body only on her side, while Schwartz’s side is crisp and even…
But even the water has sensed Katie’s presence and has bent to accommodate her as well. So strange that the water knew to cinch at her waist. Surprise, everyone! Katie is really Jesus!
Katie, Body Positivity Champion, decided to edit her own photo to make herself look thinner. Fans already think you’re a hypocrite, Katie, must you add this fuel to the fire? Editing your photos to look thinner, especially when you’re in the public eye, just contributes to the harmful idea society pushes on us that women must be thin to be considered attractive. Are you promoting body positivity or not?
And in case someone *cough cough Katie* wants to comment anonymously that it was just a strangely lined part of the railing (and water?), it seems the rest of the boat was just fine.
The reason I think this pic was edited is, in addition to all the reasons I just laid out above, because Stassi and Beau posted a totes presh photo of themselves on the boat—remarkably, with straight railings AND consistent water lines. This is how you do a couples pic. They both look cute and no one dropped half their dress size via an app to impress internet strangers. It’s a strange world we live in where Stassi’s relationship is couple goals. (But she’s my favorite, so I’m into it.)
And also. Here’s a photo of Schwartz, near the same spot, with perfectly straight railings:
You can see the railing where the bend takes place IS perfectly parallel and of the same thickness all the way through.
Katie, if you’re going to preach body positivity, don’t use apps to cut your body up. Show women they don’t have to do Adderall and be rail-thin to be on TV. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Images: musickillskate (2), thegoodthebadthebogie / Instagram